


Acidic Flowers

by Holy_Leonards



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Crack, Gen, Squirt - Freeform, Vacation, Vagina Planet, Vaginal Plants, puke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-12 01:27:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4460006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holy_Leonards/pseuds/Holy_Leonards
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Enterprise crew are desperately trying to find a good place to unwind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Acidic Flowers

The Enterprise crew was looking for a place to unwind for a while. That manufactured planet had gotten old and they needed a new, more natural place to frolic. They came up on a planet that suited their needs. At least from what the sensors could read. 

“ Captain,, sensors read that it is just like Earth except that the plant life is all very acidic.”

“Well, we can deal with that, can't we Spock?”

“Yes, captain, as long as we do not eat the plant life.”

“Oh I don't think we would do that. The only one here who eats plants is you and we all know how Vulcans react to acidic things.”

The bridge crew yelled a collective “Agreed!” and they made their way to the transporter room. 

The hallway was clogged with impatient crew members and Kirk had to pick up Spock and use his ass as a battering ram to clear a path. 

“The captain goes first!”

Kirk made to the platform and ordered Scotty to beam him, Spock, and McCoy down.

They got down to the surface and were surprised at what they found. All of the plant life was literal vaginas. Spock puked while Kirk and McCoy went to grab samples.

“Look here, Jim! Watch as the clitoris enlarges!”

“Bones you wouldn't know where a clitoris was if it was a lone star in an empty galaxy.”

Bones grumbled and picked a vagina. There was a loud screaming from within the planet.

“Aw shit, Bones, you done pissed the planet off!”

All of the vaginas started squirting at once in order to protect the planet from invaders. This caused Spock to puke even more and scream at the top of his lungs.

“KILL THEM ALL! THEY ARE THE ENEMY!”

Spock passed out and the other two picked him up. 

“Scotty get us out of here!”

The squirt stuff was starting to melt their shoes. They beamed up and brought a flood of squirt with them. One red shirt got engulfed and was dissolved in seconds. Everyone ran away as a hazmat team collected the squirt and shot it back in space. 

“Time to find another planet!” 

And they continued on their five year mission for a vacation.


End file.
